why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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