Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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