after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
