You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think people are normalizing furries
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
