So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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