Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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