my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
