he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
