Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
All I want is dick and wine.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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