I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
