Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
