A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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