dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
