Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize