Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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