No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
