a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
