is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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