I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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