Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
