woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
