Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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