can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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