if you like me you must not know who I am
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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