Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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