I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
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Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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