brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.