omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you