they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
