Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
that is very illegal...i love you.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
