It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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