I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole