A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
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I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
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In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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