We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.