Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.