I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
