If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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