so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do vagina's smell?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
