how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
