I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
