Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
