Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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