turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
