I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
