I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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