I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
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