toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
