Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
