Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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