I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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