I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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