My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
