I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
