if i died would you start the facebook group?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
