He asked to "fluff my boner.."
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
