whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
