why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
