i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
