Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
