girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize