we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
